Looking for... Humor

Please! Make me laugh. I have been dealing with contractors for nearly nine months now and I’m just worn down. Seriously. I spent months in a dispute with one contractor and went to arbitration with him. I won, but I still haven’t been paid what I’m owed. The builder who built my house had to send the window company four or five times to fix the patio slider. And the blinds company still hasn’t gotten it all right. I could seriously use a laugh now.

Hence, I am looking for...

• Humor

But what kind of humor? It has to be funny. Really funny. And you have to have the platform to make the book appeal to readers. Now, I am a funny guy. My wife tells me that all the time. But I don’t think a book of humorous essays by me would sell. I don’t have a high enough profile. Thus, if you aren’t a nationally or regionally syndicated columnist, or if you don’t have a website that gets thousands of hits a day, you probably don’t have the required platform.

And that raises an interesting question about platforms: Is a website enough? I just read where the kid who tearfully berated the world on YouTube to leave Brittany alone has just gotten some kind of deal from a media company. One editor I know told me that he spends his day cruising the internet looking for outrageous websites that could be good fodder for a book. Em & Lo, the sex columnists for nerve.com, got a book out of their work for Nerve and a new column in New York magazine. Not bad. Thus, I’d say if you are a blogger and you are really getting a lot of unique traffic, there may be some potential for a book, just as if you were a syndicated print columnist with thousands of readers.

But if are just published here and there, but not regularly, I’d say, no, you don’t have the platform yet. If you won Last Comic Standing, I’d say maybe. New York magazine did an interesting article recently about reality TV “stars” and what happens to them after the show ends. The answer is, Not much. Those that were established in business get some more business, but others simply go nowhere. Sure, the top ten Idol participants get to tour, but can you tell me what being on the show did for Antonella Barba? She certainly is not getting a recording contract. Thus, if you haven’t figured out how to stretch your fifteen minutes of fame into a growing platform, I’m not sure there will be interest in your book.

So what do I want? Books, like A Walk in the Woods, or collections of essays or short stories like those by David Sedaris. If you are as funny as those authors, I'll be sure to be in touch.

Z